Help Me Trash Talk My Friend

Hello fellow Meech fans. My good friend Dan Harrah grew up a fervent (some may say delusional) Notre Dame fan. He has maintained his desperate conviction all throughout his Michigan education despite repeated haranguing from myself. Dan Harrah is blessed with an excellent football mind, which has probably made being a Notre Dame fan since the mid 90's all the more painful. This being Notre Dame week, as well as this game being especially meaningful, has led to trash talking via facebook and text.

Now friends, I am but one man whose cleverness and creativity is limited (mostly to poop jokes), and Harrah, armed with his Michigan education, is a sharp and witty opponent. This is why I am calling upon YOU, the wolverine nation, to help me trash talk my friend.

I present to you, the enemy (on the left):


Some examples:

Harrah: I just did a regression analysis of seasons in which (1) Notre Dame had an overweight head football coach; (2) from New Jersey; (3) with a starting QB from Southern California; (4) With a Democratic President; (5) from Illinois; (6) who was born in Hawaii, and I found, based STRICTLY ON THE NUMBERS, that ND has never not won a National title under those circumstances.
Me: I think you and Lou Holtz use the same statistician.

Me: Our Tate is going to make your Tate look like a Tater Tot.
Harrah: Your Tate is going to get hit til his boyfriend dies.

Thanks friends, Go Blue!